Guest post by Loretta Eidson
I almost fussed at him.
But I’m thankful those feelings of frustration didn’t spew from my mouth. Weariness, exhaustion, and lack of sleep had me wondering how much more my physical body could endure. The countless nights sitting by his dialysis machine to turn off the alarm every time his tubing became occluded mixed with all the responsibilities of each day challenged my stamina and my emotions.
How was I still functioning? God, in His mercy and grace, downloaded supernatural empowerment to carry on. Though my body grew weary, there was nothing that could replace His ever-present sustaining power.
Yes, caregiving is hard, it’s toiling, it’s stressful, it’s all those words and more. My husband’s constant need for help never allowed me a moment to myself. Literally, twenty-four hours a day. I had to pay attention and be purposeful in responding to him with a calm, loving tone, even when I wanted to vent or cry. Nothing I did made him feel better, and it wore me to a frazzle. But I kept the pace and made him as comfortable as possible.
What helped me the most was remembering he didn’t ask to be in this position. With both legs amputated because of Agent Orange from serving in the Navy and no strength in his upper body, he had to depend on someone to help with everyday functions. That someone was me. This once strong, determined man of integrity had to succumb to the humiliation of increasing limitations.
Regardless of the lack of sleep and time for myself, the absence of social interaction with others or dinners out, I wouldn’t change a moment of the time God allowed me to be with him.
Watching our loved ones grow weaker while we work harder to comfort them can wear us down emotionally and physically. It’s real, and it happens.
So, how could there be a silver lining in caregiving?
Living with no regrets is the most heartwarming and rewarding gift a caregiver can experience. Knowing we made a positive difference and offered unconditional love and care offers us indescribable peace. Peace that passes all understanding. We did our best, and that’s all God expects of us. He will sustain us if we lean on Him.
The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Psalm 29:11 NIV
Award-winning author Loretta Eidson loves writing romantic suspense. She believes in the power of prayer and enjoys putting her characters in situations where they must trust God for help. Loretta is an AWSA certified coach and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray. She is published by Harlequin’s Love Inspired Suspense.
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 25 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, produces a newsletter for writers, and does freelance editing. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
“He will sustain us if we lean on Him.” Thank you for your powerful reminder, Loretta.
You and Loretta both well know about leaning on God during those hard times.
Diana, you’re welcome. He will definitely grant us the strength we need.
Dear Loretta, this made me cry–from sorrow that you went through that but also understanding all you said. It reminded me of when I took care of my dad, who had an incurable form of cancer. There were awful moments but also golden moments. No regrets. No unfinished business. God truly does give strength and grace in whatever measure we need, when we need it! Many blessings to you, my friend.
So glad you had those special moments with your dad, Lana. It gives us strength when they’re gone.
Thank you, Lana. Blessings to you as well.
Thank you Loretta and Tracy for sharing this today. Perfect timing for me. As I pondered the start of National Caregiver’s Month today I became convicted that I am in a period of caring for my husband from other motives than love. I prayed this morning for God to fill me with more and more love in my service. I am grateful for your timely reminder.
Caregiving is always hard, Joan. Praying for God’s strength and love to flow through you.
Praying God will continue to give you strength and rest as you care for your husband.