Browse All Posts

Caregiving has skyrocketed over the past few years. Approximately 53 million Americans provided unpaid care in 2020 (up from 43.5 million in 2015) with the vast majority (89 percent) caring for a relative. Sixty-one percent of caregivers are female, and the same percentage of caregivers were employed while caregiving. [i] …

On an outing for my mother-in-law’s 80th birthday, we were laughing over some silly thing. My mother-in-law said, “I like to be around people who laugh. If you can’t laugh, you might as well be dead.” We later cared for her in our home from the time she was 96 …

When I was five, I traveled into the countryside with my mother and grandmother to visit an elderly lady for her ninety-second birthday. Though she was only related to my grandmother by marriage, we called her Gram. Almost blind and deaf, Gram lived with her great-niece in a ramshackle cabin …

In caring for my parents and then my mother-in-law, we used all the typical and non-typical medical equipment, from walkers and oxygen concentrators to lift chairs and bedside commodes. But I found that it was often the little things that promoted independence or brought the most comfort. You can find …

A sign at our local library advertised a workshop called “Gray for a Day.” It sounded intriguing until the presenter promised to age us. I told her I didn’t need any aging, thank you. But after giving us statistics on age-related sensory and mobility decline, she handed us all packets …

“Mr. Kirk, we’re painting birdhouses today. Would you like to join us?” “No.” More than once, the staff at the assisted living center where my dad spent the last two years of his life told me they thought he was depressed. He refused to participate in exercise class, join them …

Guest post by Diana Derringer In light of recent events, Mom and I discussed difficult decisions ahead. Although exhausted, her voice brightened when she threw in a question. “Did I tell you about my trip to the grocery store?” “No.” During the one-hour drive to Dad’s urologist and radiation oncologist …

When Henry married Linda, he willingly stepped into the role of devoted father to her three children from a previous marriage. Four years later, an aneurysm burst in Linda’s brain, leaving her so profoundly disabled she could neither care for herself nor her family. Henry became her caregiver while continuing …

Guest post by E.V. Sparrow Walking outdoors is Mama’s chief love. I encouraged the treadmill idea, but she refused. Her trash collecting mission gets her outside in the green and blue. She is an original environmental protector at eighty-eight years old. Alzheimer’s hasn’t erased her love for nature. Out on …

Sometimes our relationship with a loved one is like oil and water—they just don’t mix. Apart from a history of abuse, our personalities may simply clash enough that sparks fly whenever we’re together. That relationship doesn’t suddenly mend because we begin caregiving. In fact, close contact and the role reversals …

Guest post by Lana Christian We all draw lines in the sand. My father drew a line in the sand after he had a near-fatal stroke that left him completely paralyzed on one side of his body. Even though he spent two months in inpatient rehabilitation, he came home in …

I walked into my parents’ house one day, and the stand that had held at least a dozen lush plants was gone. “What happened to your plants?” I asked Mom. “Oh, I got tired of them,” she said. Mom had always reveled in growing things, especially flowers. For her to …

Guest post by Toni Lepeska My mother was a cat lady. And I resented it. My irritation grew each Sunday afternoon I spent scouring a half dozen litter boxes. As I dumped putrid litter in a hole on Mom’s thirteen-acre property, I told God I could be of much greater …

We seldom see frozen precipitation in the Mid-South, especially in August, but a freak blizzard had apparently struck my parents’ house. Snow-white material I couldn’t identify covered their deck. Once inside, I asked, “What happened?” My mother waved me off. “I had to shake out the sheets.” “Shake what out …

Guest post by Lana Christian My mother had weathered four decades of well-controlled chronic bronchiectasis before Alzheimer’s started to erode her life. Every time she was admitted to the hospital, she would get extremely disoriented (no surprise). But she’d also say something she never said in any other setting. Every …

If you’ve been caregiving for any amount of time, you know what a roller coaster ride it can be. Yet we experience many rewards. I cared for my mom for three years after she was diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus and had a shunt inserted in her brain. Though she …

Guest post by Diana Derringer I stood in front of my husband’s walker as he began his daily exercises. He did the hard work while I served as prompter and cheerleader. Soon after we started, the wind picked up. Leaves, twigs, and assorted debris flew by the house. Looking out …

I feared Christmas would never be the same again after my mom developed a neurological condition called normal pressure hydrocephalus. Even though she made an amazing turnaround following a shunt insertion, she was no longer able to care for herself or my dad. At Christmastime, that meant no more of …

Guest post by Lana Christian “I’d like to talk with you about your son,” the school principal said on the other end of my phone. “I think he may need some help coping with stress in his life. Are any major changes happening in your family?” My father was losing …

I wound through narrow aisles packed with customers at the beauty supply shop. As I browsed hair products, an irritated voice on the next aisle made me cringe. Someone must need a nap. When I walked toward the checkout counter, an elderly woman stood talking to someone, blocking my path. …

Guest post by Sarah B. Hampshire “Can I buy a new pony toy? That cloud looks like a swan. Can Dad record the songs I want at my funeral?” Our son’s conversations tend to be this random. Some days my husband and I forget we’re walking Min home—the journey slower …

My mother-in-law had the best seat at our dining room table. From her spot, she could see through the bay window straight up the hill lined with houses on either side. Watching the neighborhood provided her entertainment. “This is better than television,” she said. “I can see everything from here. …

Guest post by Alison van Schie Toward the end of my career in social work, I began working with the elderly as a certified caregiving consultant, specifically with caregivers of loved ones with dementia. Having a keen interest in human behavior, I observed common threads in interactions between the caregiver …

When I was in nursing school, our instructors taught us good body mechanics, techniques to keep us from straining our backs. I put their teaching into practice when turning and lifting patients while working in ICU and never had any back problems. Fast forward forty years. My elderly mother-in-law moved …

Guest post by Jonna J. LeVan I took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. I was feeling accomplished. That’s when my phone rang. “Blake is crying. We don’t know what’s wrong with him.” The call from my son’s sheltered workshop threw me into a panic. It …

In my last post, I talked about the strain taking care of a loved one can put on our muscles. Even pushing a wheelchair can trigger a backache, especially when aggravated by other caregiving activities. Below I’ve listed tutorials, equipment, and tips in hopes that you can avoid becoming a …

Guest post by Lana Christian “What ifs” about loved ones becoming critically ill or permanently disabled aren’t on a new bride’s radar. As an already-veteran healthcare worker, I prided myself on having that difficult conversation with my spouse before we tied the knot. Even so, we both believed we wouldn’t …

My ninety-six-year-old mother-in-law, Fairsee, had lived alone for more than forty years. Feisty and independent, she didn’t want to move in with us. And truth be told, it wasn’t on my bucket list either. I’d recently spent six years caring for my parents but managed to keep them in their …

Guest post by Lettie Kirkpatrick Whisman “What do you think you do well as a caregiver? The question was asked by a discussion leader in a caregiver support group for the spouses of stroke survivors. I knew my answer immediately. Although there were moments when my exhaustion and the demands …

My husband and I had just checked into the hotel where we would stay for three nights when one of our sitters called. “Something’s wrong with your mom,” Joan said. “She couldn’t tell me what she wanted for lunch, and now she’s acting kind of funny.” “What do you mean …

Guest post by Alison van Schie There she sat, tightly clutching her handbag on her lap, observing life in the common area of her nursing home. Occasionally she offered an unsolicited opinion or remark to no one in particular. Dementia impacting her abilities, she blended right in to the sea …

I recently appeared as a guest on a program called Invisible Condition where I talked about my mom’s being misdiagnosed with Alzheimer’s. As it turned out, she had a treatable condition called normal pressure hydrocephalus (NPH). While I never want to give anyone false hope—Alzheimer’s is much more prevalent than …

Guest post by Patsy Bowden McCrory After thirty-five years of teaching, I retired in 2008 to care for my mother-in-law who had acute lymphoblastic leukemia. We had one afternoon to break down my daughter’s room for a hospital bed to be delivered after Granny’s second extensive stay in the hospital. …

One summer when I worked in ICU, a prolonged heat wave swept the Mid-South, keeping actual temperatures above 100° for fifteen days straight. During that time, the air conditioner went out in eighty-year-old Matilda’s modest home. From what I was later told, she hated to bother her family, so she …

Guest post by Sarah McCormick “I really hate that I am such a burden on you.” My oldest daughter chimed in, “Grandma, quit saying that. You are not a burden! We get to take care of you and do not mind at all.” A very proud mommy moment for me, …

The phone rang one evening shortly before bedtime. It was our son Brian in Atlanta. “Sorry to call so late,” he said, “but I wanted to let you know I was playing soccer tonight and think I tore something in my knee.” My mind immediately went to what we needed …

Guest post by Jen Baylor We all know that caregiving can be a demanding role. My first caregiving experience was as a paid caregiver, starting at three hours a night for two to three nights per week—making dinner, putting out trash, folding and putting away laundry, etc. But as my …

Guest post by Katy Gloudemans There is a phenomenon experts term emotional drowning. It is the feeling of sinking slowly, then briefly coming up for air only to frantically flail around looking for something, anything, to hold onto. Caring for someone with a terminal illness is like this. You cling …

Sometimes it seems as though one strange disease process leads to another. My mom had already been diagnosed with neurocardiogenic syncope (which caused her to pass out if she stood too long) and normal pressure hydrocephalus (which caused fluid to build up in her brain and affect her memory, speech, …

Guest post by Lettie Kirkpatrick Whisman My only daughter lived nineteen years with a terminal muscle disease—she never walked or weighed more than fifty-five pounds. She had to be dressed, toileted, bathed, placed in her motorized chair, and assisted with the details of her day. But Shela’s contented heart, contagious …

I think I met a hobbit the other day. He bounded onto the playground with his dad who was trying—but failing—to keep up. His round little face, halo of curly hair, and cherubic smile clued me in to his real identity. He was one of Tolkien’s little people, who love …

Guest post by Jonna J. LeVan It is so hard. My heart leaped, then sank when I opened an email that said I had been awarded a writers conference scholarship. I shuddered to even think of heading out to that mountaintop writing haven three states away. The message implied the …

It had been a rough year. My mom’s memory began deteriorating at an alarming rate. Then she lost the ability to walk and all but the rudiments of speech. We went from one doctor to another before we found the cause. She made an amazing turnaround following surgery but had …

Guest Post by Mary Ann Featherston I knew today was going to be difficult. I had a hard time sleeping last night because I kept thinking about the what-ifs. What if Momma runs out of oxygen before we reach our destination? What if she passes out from lack of air? …

As primary caregiver, I kept things running smoothly for my parents, who both had multiple health problems and limited mobility. Mom could no longer cook or keep house due to a neurological condition, but we were able to keep them at home thanks to wonderful caregivers who stayed every day …

Guest post by Karen Allen The pandemic brought many challenges and disadvantages, but for my mom and me, it created something new and rewarding—Thankful Thursdays. During the pandemic, I saw a need to be more involved and proactive for my then 90-year-old mother, who lived alone. At first, I began …

My husband and I cared for his elderly mom for four years in our home. Over a two-week period during that time, several people we knew died. My husband’s cousin, a woman who lived next door to my parents for forty years, a neighbor’s son whom we’d watched grow up, …

Guest post by Crystal Caudill I recently read a meme that said: Girls will be like I don’t know why I’m so unproductive recently, and then you ask what’s going on in their life and they list eight life-stopping crises and then say, “Yeah, but I should be fine.” I …

My dad was six foot seven. As he grew older, back pain became more and more of an issue, especially when he walked very far. His balance also began to deteriorate, increasing the possibility he would fall. But the man loved to shop and went to Walmart or the grocery …

Guest post by Lori Vober At the age of twenty-nine, everything changed for both me, my husband of almost five years, and my parents. While at work, I suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke caused by an undetected malformation of blood vessels on the right side of my brain. After an …