When Henry married Linda, he willingly stepped into the role of devoted father to her three children from a previous marriage. Four years later, an aneurysm burst in Linda’s brain, leaving her so profoundly disabled she could neither care for herself nor her family. Henry became her caregiver while continuing to raise the children.
For forty years, Henry lifted his wife into a wheelchair each morning, bathed and fed her, and handled every basic need. Linda’s mind remained sharp though her body refused to cooperate. The only way she could walk was to throw her arms around Henry’s neck and shuffle forward as he stepped backward in a tender dance. Few could interpret Linda’s garbled speech, yet Henry understood her perfectly.
Oh, did I mention that Henry suffered from chronic back pain and severe, lifelong respiratory problems due to tuberculosis during his mother’s pregnancy with him? Yet he never wavered. Despite having family members willing to help, Henry refused to allow anyone else to assume care for Linda until the day he passed away. Few would do what this man did.
I don’t tell this story to discourage you or make you feel guilty if you’ve had to put your loved one in a facility. Caregiving looks different for everyone who undertakes it. I don’t know if I could have done what Henry did, not for all those years.
God calls us each to a different path. Just know that no matter what path God sets you on, He will give you the strength to walk it.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 NKJV
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and proofreads for Farmers’ Almanac. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
What a powerful story, Tracy. Amen to “Just know that no matter what path God sets you on, He will give you the strength to walk it.”
Thank you, Diana! God is so good!
Tracy I absolutely love this post! As my grandmother would say, it hit me right in my heart. Thank you for sharing its treasure with me this morning. I recently had to put one of my 2 dogs to sleep, so my heart is tender right now and this message was such a sweet reminder that we are all seen by God and right where we need to be.
Bless you for your heart towards the caretaker. Its not in vain, its blessing many!
Val
Oh, Val, I’m so sorry about your dog. Will be praying God heals your heart as only He can.
Good advice. So many people feel guilt when they realize they can’t take care of a loved one. I don’t think I could do what Henry did. God bless him.
He was an amazing person. To this day, his stepchildren have nothing but good things to say about him.
Thank You Tracy.
Bless you, William!
We all walk in one direction, or another, don’t we? So thankful we don’t walk alone, by our own strength. Love your words and encouragement, Tracy. Thank you.
He is our rock. Praying for you, Kristy.