When a caregiver support group leader called and asked me to speak to her group, she poured out her heart to me. “I feel like I’ve lost compassion for my husband.”

I suspected what she was really feeling was exhaustion.

Author Craig von Buseck told me that when he was a hospital chaplain, exhaustion was the number one complaint he heard from caregivers.

I can attest to that. Every caregiver I’ve talked to has suffered from bone-weary fatigue at one time or another. My low point came when my husband and I cared for my mother-in-law during her three months on hospice. We took turns getting up with her at night and caring for her during the day. Interrupted sleep, physical exertion, and grief drained our reserves and wore us out.

Many caregivers have no one to share their load with and lack even a moment to recoup their energy. This can lead to such overwhelm they go into survival mode. And I know when I’m weary, I feel little compassion for anyone else.

Before exhaustion saps all your energy, try these tips.

• Say no to activities that drain you. You will have time for other things later. Right now, conserve your strength for caregiving.
• Nap whenever you can. Let the housework go. You’re more important.
• Hire help if you can afford to. Beg for it if you can’t. You might be surprised that friends and family are waiting for you to ask.
• Take a walk outside. Nothing rejuvenates me like the exercise, fresh air, and immersion in God’s creation.
• Be encouraged that you’re not alone. Many caregivers feel or have felt the way you do. Find one to talk to and ask what helped them the most.
• Take it to Jesus. He promised to give us rest. As my study Bible says, that doesn’t mean He will put an end to all our labor. The rest Jesus provides transforms our exhaustion into peace and the strength to go on.

Find a way to insert rest and spiritual revival into your caregiving day, and you’ll soon see your energy, tranquility, and compassion returning. That’s the best way to defeat caregiver enemy number one.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:28-29 NIV