Guest post by Lori Vober
At the age of twenty-nine, everything changed for both me, my husband of almost five years, and my parents. While at work, I suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke caused by an undetected malformation of blood vessels on the right side of my brain. After an emergency brain surgery to stop the bleed, I woke up from a seventeen-day drug-induced coma, paralyzed on the left side. We learned that in a blink of an eye, life can change forever.
It has been almost twenty-one years since my stroke, and our family has journeyed through many additional challenges and blessings since that day. We went through a job loss and cross country move six months post-stroke. I developed epilepsy from the stroke. We decided after ten years of stroke recovery we really wanted a family so we adopted a sibling group of three. I have learned so much from every experience, and every challenge can be viewed as an opportunity.
Although my stroke and disability were and continue to be difficult for me as a survivor, I believe caregivers also have a very special and difficult role. They must take care of both themselves and their loved ones. I think many caregivers put their loved ones’ needs first and forget about what they need. Although that is loving and quite noble, it is necessary for the caregiver to get the care and support they need, too. This includes sleep, exercise, nutrition, and emotional support. It is a grieving journey for everyone, and each person handles the situation differently. If caregivers aren’t careful, exhaustion and frustration can quickly take over, and that is not a healthy environment for anyone.
I also believe it is important for the caregiver to realize they can support and encourage the other person, but they can’t do the hard work for them. The survivor or person with a medical need must be the one willing to do the work to maintain his or her own health or get better. As a stroke survivor, I needed the emotional and physical support of my parents and spouse. However, working hard to regain my losses and finding my new normal was up to me.
I believe it takes a special person with the right amount of love, compassion, and discipline to be an effective caregiver.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks;
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NKJV
Lori Vober is a survivor, overcomer, connector, and encourager. She suffered a hemorrhagic stroke at age twenty-nine and then developed epilepsy from the stroke. Lori is passionate about choices, and even in our trials, we can still find hope, joy, and new success. With the right perspective, attitude, and perseverance, we can stay unstuck and keep moving forward.
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and proofreads for Farmers’ Almanac. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
