My mom had been caring for my dad, who had multiple health issues, when she developed a brain condition that required surgery. After returning home, she needed constant care herself. With one sister disabled and another six hours away, I was the natural choice for primary caregiver.  A former ICU nurse, I tackled the job with enthusiasm. It was okay.

But as one year turned into two and then three and then four, it wasn’t so okay. Caregiving is hard and not meant to be an individual sport.

When caregiving seems to go on forever, develop a team sport mentality.

Form a squad. I was fortunate my parents could afford to hire paid caregivers. We found that private sitters worked best for us. They were reliable and caring. Many became like family to us. I kept in close communication with them to assure my parents received the best care possible.

Bring in backups. My mother-in-law lived with my husband and me the last four years of her life. When she went on hospice, Covid was still a major threat, so we rarely allowed anyone else into our home. But a sweet friend pressed me to let her to stay with my mother-in-law one afternoon while we went to lunch. A daughter-in-law later did the same. What a blessing! If I had that time to do over (under normal circumstances), I would enlist friends and family to give us respite on a regular basis.

Learn to coach. Even though I had sitters for my parents, I was still the primary caregiver. I kept up with their meds, treatments, and doctor appointments and oversaw their day-to-day care. But once I realized my primary role was as coach, not player, it became easier to let go of the hands-on care and allow the team to work together.

Pace yourself. When my mom was in the hospital for a solid month, I stayed with her day and night. Every few days, I would have a meltdown from exhaustion. More than once, my husband and a friend offered to stay overnight with Mom so I could go home and get some rest. I had to learn to pace myself, or I would drop in my tracks.

Caregiving may go on for a long time. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Line up your supporting team to keep the momentum going.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight,
and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1 ESV

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 25 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and produces The Write Life newsletter for writers. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.