Guest post by Brenda E. McDaniel

I became a caregiver when my parents grew older. I was disabled myself from a spinal injury, and my parents were in their eighties.

One day, I went into my mom’s bedroom, and she was lying on the floor in pain, unable to get up. I called 911, and they immediately took her to the emergency room. The doctors took x-rays and saw nothing broken in her spinal area or otherwise, so they sent her back home.

The next day, her condition deteriorated. She was talking incoherently, so I called 911 again. I followed the ambulance to the hospital. Sometime later, the RN came in quietly and told me mom’s kidneys weren’t working well. This began days of stress, questions, medical tests on mom, and shock. You never accept your loved one may not be with you always.

After about two weeks, I received a call from mom’s doctor and was told she had spinal and kidney cancer. He said, “I am sorry, but the cancer was caught too late.” He couldn’t help her any further.

I told our family, and we all were in a state of shock, realizing her life was coming to an end here on earth. The next few days were a total blur. They were filled with making major decisions, such as putting her in home hospice, deciding on a funeral home, and dealing with our grief and pain.

The hospice nurse and I took good and loving care of her. The day came, though, that early one morning I looked at mom, and she had stopped breathing. I called the nurse in, hoping I was wrong, but she said, “She’s gone and at peace.” We buried her in a beautiful veterans cemetery since dad had served in the military.

My family and I went through all the stages of grief and pain (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) that caregivers and family go through upon such a loss. I’ve found we have to give ourselves time to grieve, recover, and find a peace that surpasses all human understanding—God’s peace.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7 NKJV

Brenda E. McDaniel is a writer and author and has been writing articles for the digital Christian magazine called Faith on Every Corner for 5 years now. She has a Masters Degree in counseling, and her two books, My Angel, My Hero and My Author Journey can be found on Amazon.

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 24 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, produces a newsletter for writers, and does freelance editing. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.