I feared Christmas would never be the same again after my mom developed a neurological condition called normal pressure hydrocephalus. Even though she made an amazing turnaround following a shunt insertion, she was no longer able to care for herself or my dad.
At Christmastime, that meant no more of her special pistachio salad, no more glittering decorations, and no more fun. Our family traditions had always included good food and gathering together to play games of all kinds—cards, charades, board games . . . you name it. Mom especially liked a fast-action game that involved giving your partner clues and then passing a game module like a hot potato before the buzzer went off.
I was grateful to still have my mom, but I missed the vibrant woman who presided over our holiday festivities. Then one night after a dinner I had cooked and brought over, she said, “Let’s play a game.”
Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked, “What do you want to play?”
“How about Catch Phrase?”
Really?
My husband, dad, and I huddled around and started the timer. Mom and I were partners, and to my surprise, we won! She couldn’t guess all the clues (but neither could I), and she wasn’t as fast as she used to be. But my mother was playing.
We celebrated three more Christmases with Mom, and games provided an avenue for her to socialize and remain engaged with us. When caring for those with dementia or other neurological conditions, I think it’s important to watch for ways to include them in activities as much and as long as possible. Even if we have to work to simplify pastimes they once excelled at, the interaction will be well worth the trouble.
Family gatherings may never be quite the same again, but we can still harvest sweet memories during the holiday season, memories that will bud and grow like a poinsettia, more beautiful with each passing year.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9 NIV
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and proofreads for Farmers’ Almanac. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
Poignant story, Tracy. My mom had dementia but she could still play Chinese checkers like a fiend. ☺️
It’s funny how some parts of the brain remain unaffected. I know of so many who can’t carry on a conversation but can sing songs all the way through.
This story about your mom and Christmas games gave me goosebumps on goosebumps! What a wonderful remembrance! It also reminded me of special times with my parents who are no longer here. Tracy, you sure have a gift! This touched my very soul.
Aw, thank you, Pam. I’m glad it brought back sweet memories. Merry Christmas!
What an encouraging story, Tracy. Thank you.
Thank you, Diana!
Beautiful story, Tracy. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you, Lori! Merry Christmas!
Thanks for this encouragement, Tracy!! We opted to drive 1-1/2 hrs each way to pick up and return my folks on Thanksgiving, so they could join us with our grown kids and their babies at our house. Much trepidation. Sometimes, Mom has so many physical and mental problems she can’t leave her apartment. They were ready and waiting for us when we arrived at their place! Our kids cooked so we could do transport, and we had a wonderful day! Mom doesn’t remember being there, but I took enough pics to show her that she was and everybody that made it, including my brother and his wife!! God blessed my husband’s urgings and efforts, plus many people’s prayers way beyond what I could have asked or thought!!
How wonderful! I’m so glad, Becky, that you’ll have these wonderful memories. Keep them close to your heart. Praying you have a blessed Christmas!
Tracy this hit my whole heart! Thank you for sharing that memory, it gave me a moment of being grateful for still having my mom, but also a practical way to still engage with her. This was a great blessing to me!
I’m so glad, Val. I pray you all have a happy and blessed Christmas!