Nowadays, people tend to think that if you’re caregiving, your loved one must have Alzheimer’s. While Alzheimer’s and other dementias are growing more common, especially as medicine advances and baby boomers age, many reasons may determine why you are caring for someone.
Some caregiving involves short-term care for situations involving cancer treatment, recovery from surgery, or rehab following serious accidents. In those cases, it may not require as many life changes as other conditions that require long-term care.
However, I also know of many families who care for loved ones with a variety of long-term illnesses. Parkinson’s, ALS, and other degenerative neuromuscular diseases require increasing amounts of care. Parents often care for children born with developmental disabilities, autism, severe birth defects, or a host of other conditions that prevent the children from ever being able to live on their own. Sometimes, brain tumors, strokes, or traumatic brain injuries incapacitate a loved one for many years.
Loved ones may simply be aging with resultant weakness and growing health problems. As they have more difficulty with activities of daily living, they require more assistance.
Caregiving may also encompass a variety of settings. I was able to care for my parents in their own home for four years, and then moved my dad into assisted living for the last two years of his life. My mother-in-law lived on her own with weekly visits from us when she was in her 90s and then moved in with us for 4 years before she passed away at the age of 100. Many caregivers oversee their loved ones’ care in nursing homes or other extended care settings.
Caregiving comes in a variety of shapes and sizes and styles, and one size does not fit all. Whatever type of caregiving you do or whatever setting your loved one is in, just know that while you can learn from other caregivers’ experiences, your situation is uniquely yours. You don’t have to feel guilty if you don’t do it exactly like everyone else. Or anyone else. Your caregiving only needs to fit your loved one.
For the body is not one member, but many.
1 Corinthians 12:14 KJV
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, edits a newsletter for writers, and does freelance editing. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
These are important words. I used to tell family members and friends they were caregivers (actually, I said “care partners”) and they would look sceptical. But we all know that it takes many kinds of care. Those who give the “hands on” care are important, but so are those who give emotional care—the friends and family who visit and the music therapist and the activities person who bring the fun. All matter and all care. It takes a village.
Care partners—I love that, Ann. And you’re right. They all matter and are important to the care recipient’s overall well being (as well as the primary caregiver’s).