Guest post by Alison van Schie

There she sat, tightly clutching her handbag on her lap, observing life in the common area of her nursing home. Occasionally she offered an unsolicited opinion or remark to no one in particular. Dementia impacting her abilities, she blended right in to the sea of wheelchair occupants. My role as a social worker provided me the privilege to enter her world as I got to know her personally.

I have now retired as a social worker, but the lessons she taught me accompany me in my current role as a caregiving consultant. She impacted me deeply.

So, when I saw the meme by Ana Von Rebeur, picturing an elderly lady in her wheelchair casting a shadow of an elegant dancer on the wall, I immediately remembered her. Have you seen the cartoon depiction? It could have been drawn specifically for this lady. You see, once I got to know her, I found that talking about her love for dance caused the memories to start flooding and filled her with excitement.

She became that shadow-cast dancer as she came alive, her passion reignited.

Hearing her stories of dancing and the components required to be a graceful ballroom dancer evoked an interest in me as I had never been a dancer. But in her presence, I found myself tightening my core and improving my posture.

Along with her dance-instilled elegance was her impressive fashion sense, and she would often comment on my clothing choices. (I usually wore sensible shoes for the miles I walked in my work, and that perhaps made me look frumpy in her eyes.) I realized her words were said out of kindness and meant to help me appear more elegant in my everyday wardrobe choices.

I gained insights from hearing about her passions that changed me for the better.

So, with improved posture, an increased degree of refinement, and hearing her words echo about my wardrobe selections, I am reminded that there is a story behind the occupant in each wheelchair. A story to be told and a story to behold that could reignite their passion if only for a moment. Are we listening to the stories?

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.
Psalm 30:11 NLT

Alison van Schie is a caregiving consultant and founder of Alongside Caregiver Consulting, providing professional support to caregivers of folks with dementia. She is a retired social worker who entered the world of podcasting during the Covid pandemic to bring encouragement and resources through caregiver stories on the Island Treasures podcast for caregivers.

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and proofreads for Farmers’ Almanac. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.