Though I’d always hoped to keep my dad in his own home, moving him to assisted living looked more and more appealing.
His house was paid off, but the cost of caregivers, utilities, upkeep on a fifty-year-old house, medications, doctor bills, and a hundred other expenses began to overshadow his income. Every time I visited and saw a dead tree in his oak-filled yard or found out another appliance had given up the ghost, I feared his savings would dwindle away.
Dad was open to assisted living, but I dreaded the expense. However, when I sat down and ran the numbers, I found it would actually be cheaper for him to move. In addition, we could sell his house and furnishings and add to his savings rather than detract from them.
I called around to a few facilities in our area. Though they all had long waiting lists, we made an appointment to tour the most convenient one so we could discuss the pros and cons.
The staff invited us for a free lunch—which thrilled Dad—and we visited with the residents, who were friendly and welcoming. The rooms were small but adequate, and the activities director provided a variety of interesting pursuits. After talking with the charge nurse, with whom I had gone to church, I felt confident Dad would be well taken care of. All we needed to do now was wait for an opening.
But when we sat down to talk about financial details, the director surprised me by saying two rooms had just become available. She offered us one of them. Shortly thereafter, our longtime caregiver announced that her husband’s health had worsened and she wouldn’t be able to work for us anymore. That sealed the deal.
It may have just been a matter of being in the right place at the right time, but I’ll always believe God opened the door in His timing.
Within a month, we’d moved my dad into assisted living. I still acted as his primary caregiver, but I had no doubt we made the right decision.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts,
except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 NKJV
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, edits a newsletter for writers, and does freelance editing. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
As an only, full-time caregiver (13+ years) for my wife with Generalized Dystonia, I can attest that God’s timing was always spot on! We could not have made it without our Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ! Two miracles occurred at the end before she went to Heaven. Around 5 pm after my daughter had left for home in Tennessee, Peggy began singing at the top of her lungs. I had not heard her voice in almost 4 years! She had no muscles in her larynx, just the bones. Her eyes looked glazed over and she was staring intensely at the ceiling. She was in a recliner in the den. When I got her into bed, she looked at me and smiled as I put on her pajamas and gave water. After I pulled the cover up and kissed her good night, she looked up at the ceiling with focused but glazed eyes and began singing again. Even with my hearing aids out, I couldn’t sleep in the same room. I tried the den, but the singing was too loud. Finally I moved to the guest bedroom and with the door shut was able to get a few hours of sleep. In the morning (6am) she was still awake singing! She stopped when I got by her hospital bed and smiled at me. I fed her lots of water with a syringe and gave her a drop of morphine. She wanted to sleep and immediately did so. I sat with her for several hours and then told her that I was going to google some meds the Hospice had dropped off to see what they were for. That was at 10 am , our daughter came in the back door and said she wanted to see Mom before we talked. I told her Mom was resting peacefully, my back was to the entrance of the den and I felt Jennifer’s hand on my shoulder as she said, “God answered my prayers.” I asked what those were and she said, “All the way here (1 hr away) I prayed that Mom wouldn’t go to Heaven while you were alone with her and she just passed.” I jumped up and ran in the bedroom and hugged her and she was still as hot as a firecracker, and I knew she had just left us.
.
Oh, my goodness, Randy, this is a beautiful story! God heard Peggy’s singing and your daughter’s prayers. He is so good! I would love for you to consider writing a post for Caregiver’s Corner one day. You can contact me through my website at https://tracycrump.com/ if you’re interested.
Don’t you love the way doors often open at just the right time? Thank you for this perfect example.
Yes! His timing is always better than ours.
God always works things out in His time. We just need to trust Him.
That’s so true, Mary Ann. It’s just so tempting to run ahead of Him, but it’s always better when we wait.