Guest post by Kathryn Cox

I slid a bowl of instant oatmeal out of the microwave for my mother.

“Time for breakfast, Mom. I’ve made your favorite—blueberry oatmeal.”

Mom stared at me from the kitchen table, confusion etched into her gaze. Alzheimer’s disease had eroded nearly all of her memory and capabilities.

My 17-year-old son, John, grabbed his backpack and car keys from our living room to leave for high school.

I called to John without looking to see what he was wearing. “It’s chilly outside. I hope you have on jeans.”

“I’m good,” replied John.

I added a splash of cold milk to Mom’s steaming bowl of oatmeal. “Okay, mother, it’s time for breakfast. I’ve made your favorite—blueberry oatmeal.”

John headed for the front door. My brain, locked in dementia-care-repeat-everything mode, forced out unnecessary words: “It’s cold outside. Did you get your jacket?”

John sighed heavily. Without a goodbye, he stomped out the door.

I groaned. My son was smart, responsible, and capable. I breathed a silent prayer. Help me, Jesus. I know I frustrate my family when I repeat myself as I must do for Mom.

Memories from the last few days bubbled in my thoughts. I had “reminded” my daughter four times before school to brush her teeth. “Mom, I know. I’m not Grandma,” griped my exasperated teen from her upstairs bedroom. My husband had assured me that my one request to mow the yard instead of three was sufficient.

Coasting on caregiver-cruise-control was causing the people I loved most to become weary in our caregiving journey. I realized I needed God’s help to effectively “switch gears” when dealing with my mother versus my husband and kids.

Your loved one may not battle memory loss. We caregivers contend with a myriad of health issues. And it’s reasonable that we treat our loved ones according to their needs. However, fatigue and stress can cause us to become stuck in caregiver-mode when we interact with others.

God helped me find creative ways to cope. My son downloaded a weather app to his phone and checked it each morning so I knew he was aware of the temperature. My daughter brushed her teeth before school in our downstairs bathroom so I could see her complete the task. When I asked my husband to help with a household chore, I noted it on my calendar app. Praise the Lord, He restored peace (and sanity) to my family.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
Psalm 28:7 (NIV)

Kathryn Cox is a freelance writer and former sandwich generation caregiver. Her articles have appeared in Epoch Times, Epoch Times China, Clovis Times, Now What?, Devozine, Live Magazine, and MomSense. Connect with Kathryn, read her blog posts on “Who is God?” and find resources and encouragement for sandwich generation caregivers on her website.

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness. A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 29 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, produces a newsletter for writers, and does freelance editing. But her most important job is Grandma to eight completely unspoiled grandchildren.