Guest post by Cecil Taylor 

At the age of 25, my son Austin stepped in as primary caregiver for his great aunt and great uncle. Their caregiver son had passed away, two other sons are estranged, and their daughter lives in Germany.

It’s not like Austin lives close by. He must drive four hours to visit them. His caregiving consists of phone calls, texts, and sacrificial weekends or even weekdays. Fortunately, his wife and his workplace are quite understanding.

Six years later, Austin says he’s exhausted. His great aunt and great uncle have gone through a lot, and he alongside them: bankruptcy, criminal probation, downsizing, a mysterious wandering by my uncle, my aunt’s back issues and leg amputation.

As I counsel him, I hear his biggest frustration is they will hide problems until they become emergencies. For example, by the time he was brought in to help with financial issues, many options were closed.

Austin has realized the need for boundaries. So, when he gives up a weekend to visit, he reserves time and space for himself. He’ll visit friends in the area. He’ll take his computer to a coffee shop for hours – one of his favorite pastimes. He might spend time at a music club.

Since he doesn’t need the entire weekend to solve problems and interact with them, Austin can recharge even while serving them.

A common challenge for caregivers is how to set healthy boundaries. How to reserve time for themselves. How to recharge.

I know my own tendency is to keep going. Instead of doing only what’s necessary, I might take on extra projects or chase issues that don’t really need to be solved. Then I complain because so much of my time and energy was spent.

Jesus knew how to set boundaries. When he had fed the 5,000 and sensed they wanted to make him a king, Jesus simply withdrew from them.

Jesus knew the importance of refreshment. After He had sent his apostles out to teach and heal, they returned to report. But Jesus was more interested in their refreshment than their reports, inviting them to a quiet place with him to rest.

How about you? How can you set boundaries? How can you find the balance between serving and refreshing? I pray that you are inspired by Jesus, that you can learn specific ideas from a fellow caregiver, and that Austin’s experience and problem-solving stimulates your thinking.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Luke 5:16 NIV

Through his ministry, Cecil Taylor teaches Christians how to live a seven-day practical faith. To that end, he writes and delivers original books, videos, podcasts, blogs, and more. He also writes for Chicken Soup for the Soul and Guideposts. To learn more, visit Cecil Taylor Ministries and Unison Parenting.

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness. A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 28 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, produces a newsletter for writers, and does freelance editing. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.