Guest post by Toni Lepeska

My mother was a cat lady. And I resented it. My irritation grew each Sunday afternoon I spent scouring a half dozen litter boxes. As I dumped putrid litter in a hole on Mom’s thirteen-acre property, I told God I could be of much greater service to him—and to her—doing something else.

Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to take care of my mom.

Afflicted with a lung disease, she was no longer the vibrant woman who hoisted fifty-pound bags of pony feed out of a van. I grocery shopped for her, fetched medicines, and cooked dinner, all the while shouldering the inevitability that she was dying a slow death.

But taking care of her fifteen cats (ten of them inside her house) felt like an exercise in futility.

God let me go on this way for several months. My frustration built. And then one day, as I used a garden hose to wash out the sticky layer at the bottom of each cat potty, God reminded me of the time Jesus washed the disciples’ feet.

“You are washing your mother’s feet,” He seemed to say.

In an instant, the job of cleaning out the potties was transformed.

God affirmed that I was doing a nasty job, but He also pointed out it was an important job. The cats comforted Mom. My task helped serve her emotional needs.

Sometimes we think we know how to best take care of the people who rely on us. Their requests and demands can feel extreme or unnecessary, especially when we’re bombarded by to-dos. But it’s important not to miss the big meaning in small, perhaps absurd, assignments. Because sometimes the best way to be a caregiver isn’t about making the next meal.

It’s about meeting an intangible need of the heart.

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

~ John 13:14-15

Toni Lepeska is a Memphis newspaper journalist, essayist, and contributing author. After her parents died, she began using personal stories and hard-won perspective to help “adult orphans” chart their own course toward healing. She found beauty in life again – and you can, too. To learn more, visit When a Parent Dies. 

Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and proofreads for Farmers’ Almanac. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.