As primary caregiver, I kept things running smoothly for my parents, who both had multiple health problems and limited mobility. Mom could no longer cook or keep house due to a neurological condition, but we were able to keep them at home thanks to wonderful caregivers who stayed every day from 7 to 5.
Still, I went to their house each morning to give Mom a thyroid injection and every night to help her undress and get ready for bed. I coordinated the caregivers’ schedules, took my parents to doctor appointments and other outings, and monitored them for impending health complications.
On Sundays, I helped Dad count out his daily medication for the coming week (he took an unbelievable number of pills!). On weekdays, I learned just how long it was possible to stay on hold with an insurance company. In addition, Mom had recently come home from the hospital with a PICC line through which I administered nutritional supplements and IV antibiotics. I was indispensable.
Only I wasn’t.
When my appendix perforated, I ended up having surgery and staying in the hospital for eight days. I barely remember making calls from the emergency room (between an x-ray and CT scan) asking people for help. And help they did.
A nurse friend, my daughter-in-law, a neighbor, and others jumped in to fill the void. Recovery lasted longer than expected, and my husband grounded me from climbing the steep steps to my parents’ backdoor. But the support continued.
Every time I prayed for help, someone came. My husband took care of me while others took care of my parents. I wasn’t as indispensable as I thought.
As caregivers, we feel the weight of responsibility on our shoulders. Sometimes we shrug off help without even realizing it because, after all, we’re the caregivers. Exhaustion and burnout result. But if we look around, we may find others who can and will help. And we don’t have to wait until an emergency situation arises.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19 ESV
Tracy Crump dispenses hope in her award-winning book, Health, Healing, and Wholeness: Devotions of Hope in the Midst of Illness (CrossLink Publishing, 2021). A former intensive care nurse, she cared for her parents and her mother-in-law and understands both the burdens and joys of caregiving. Her devotions have been featured in Guideposts books, The Upper Room, and many other publications, and she has contributed 22 stories to Chicken Soup for the Soul® books. She also conducts writing workshops, freelance edits, and proofreads for Farmers’ Almanac. But her most important job is Grandma to five completely unspoiled grandchildren.
May God bless you. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Thank God for support from friends and family.
Thank you, Mary Ann!
My appendectomy only required an overnight stay, but I had to call in reinforcements for weeks after. We definitely are not indispensable.
Thank the Lord for good friends and family who jump in to help.
One thing I’m not sure some caregivers might realize is that OTHERS WANT to help and use their spiritual gifts in that way–that it’s not putting them out in any way. I love to help and feel badly when my help is refused. I try to think, “Well, they don’t need the help,” or “Maybe another time.” Sometimes for the OTHER person, it’s a gift. The times the caregiver DID let me help were breaths of fresh air for me. Yes, tiring but wonderful too.
So true, Sarah, and so good for caregivers to know. Sometimes we cheat others out of God’s blessings by not letting them help.
This is a great reminder that as caregivers, we must take care of ourselves. Also, we must remember to ask for help. God provides help when we ask. 🙂
So true, Melissa. We can’t take care of others if we are sick or so run down we can’t think straight.